Community Support Raises OnlyTzaras.com from the Dead

SOMEWHERE, OVER THE RAINBOW - Rosh Chodesh Adar, 5766 - When Purim was over and all their ideas were spent, the designers of OnlyTzaras.com faced a tough dilemma. Should they rebuild their site or get some lives?

Thousands of years of programming, blood, toil, tears, and sweat had resulted in a website more infamous than anyone could have suspected. It was home to over 89,000,000 digital photo galleries of unspeakable horrors ranging from deaths to weddings, from yeridahs to the real devastating tzaras. It was also the destination for over 0 registered users (and way many more unregistered), who combined to view over 5 million pages monthly. E-mails from as far away as Antarctica, Micronesia, Congo-Brazzaville and Tierra del Fuego deluged the team demanding they abandon this endeavor.

Certainly the problem was most difficult for Q, the team's technical and military genius. His hours of hourly site maintenance are usually attempted during the hours that common folk are usually fast asleep. His early morning tasks regularly involve performance testing, laughing at the idiots who tried to register, and maxxing out their credit cards. His uncle’s nephew’s cousin also known as his brother, L uses his evening bowling time to select and photoshop cover photos for the day's new uploads. "Those eons could have been put to other use such as earning a living, or flying a Cessna," Q explained, "but L felt he had an compulsion to make the population miserable."

"When I read the e-mails of discouragement and contemplated the people who really look to us to ruin their day," says L as his fingers type furiously and he stares into seventy two adjacent computer monitors, "I remembered how much reward there is for this type of work, absolutely none at all. " One of the many millions of e-mails from passionate viewers reads, "Fluffy you, You Fluffy People. Come anywhere near Fluffing Topeka, Kansas and I’ll rip out all your Fluffin’ bones and also those of your Furry Fluffy Dogs." "I never liked Kansas much anyway," L comments.

And so, by popular demand, OnlyTzaras.com was reborn this month, thanks to the tireless efforts of L, C, Q and all the rest of the letters in the alphabet, heartened by the tremendous outrage from the galactic Jewish community. "I'm overly confident that over the next few days our users will resend their grievances, sorrows, death threats, cherem notices, and attempt to re-register," says some other guy, "that's just the kind of fanaticism we inspire." Adds someone else, "The site has been an evil scientific experiment since the beginning. From the moment we killed it, I knew we had no choice but to raise it from the dead. We still have illustrious plans for the site's future. But for now we may just need to send a certain editorial writer to sleep with the fishes."

Check out http://www.onlytzaras.com