What to Do for Valentine's Day If You're Recently Divorced or Going Through a Divorce

Harmonious Divorce expert Marlene Clay offers tips for how to enjoy Valentine's Day regardless of your relationship status. "Valentine's Day is about love", she states. "There's no rule that says it has to be about romantic love. Ignore the media hype and all the money-making crap everywhere, and make this day about love for you and your kids".

Clay shares that Valentine's Day can be stressful and often disappointing, even for people in good relationships, because of hopes, expectations and comparisons. Her advice is to focus on caring for others and sharing from the heart.

She has five suggestions for what to do to make Valentine's Day special this year for anyone whose relationship has recently ended:

- Make a list of all the people you love. Your kids, your parents, friends. Next to each one, write down at least one reason you love them. I bet they'd love to get a card or note or email from you on Valentine's Day letting them know. Include the reason(s) why you love them – it will make it special for them.

- If you have friends who are also single, plan something fun with them. Plan a dinner out or at one of your homes. If you've got kids, either get babysitters or include them. Maybe everyone can bring a dish, and you can all make Valentine's for each other. The kids will enjoy this and it will keep them busy for a while.

- Plan something special with your children that's all about love and gratitude. Make cards for each other and make a special treat like cookies or cupcakes that you can decorate for Valentine's Day. Take turns telling each other all the things you love about each other and then all the other things you love in your life - friends, favorite foods, activities, dolls, sports, books, flowers, pets, snow, biking, trucks, etc.

- Love yourself. Express this love by pampering yourself in some way. Yes, the men too. This could be a massage, a bath, curling up with a good book, watching a movie you've been wanting to see, eating out, exercising, having some beer or wine while you do something relaxing, working on a project you rarely have time for but enjoy doing, going to a class (yoga, cooking, art, etc).

- Give yourself a gift. Get some flowers and put them in a place where you can enjoy them the most. Get a new CD and listen to it while you dance or sing along. Get a new book and start reading it. Get a DVD and watch it. Pick up dinner so you don't have to cook. Get a new article of clothing or some sporting equipment. There's nothing wrong with providing yourself with the things you want or enjoy. It's called self-care and it's an important life skill to learn and practice.

"You can make it a fun, enjoyable day if you focus on whom and what you love, and you don't worry about what anyone else is or isn't doing", says Clay.

Marlene Clay, founder of Divorced Happily Ever After, shows parents how to have a harmonious divorce so their children can thrive and they can live the lives they truly want. She coaches parents across the country via telephone and email. Tips, blog and free e-newsletter available on her website.